Love; Can you give too much? Author Sahvanna Arienta helps the healers and the nurturers, the lightworkers, rediscover how to love in a way that protects our own highest self in her new release Lightworker Relationships.
Lightworkers are sensitive and highly empathic souls who have an innate need to help and heal others, these peaceful supporters of humanity are here to make positive changes, but just as essential, they must create balanced and loving human connections personally.
Many Lightworkers become so caught up in their divine mission to heal, they sometimes overlook the importance of receiving love. Do you find yourself always loving generously and rarely feeling valued? Do you feel you’re always conceding to the needs of others? You are not alone. Because of this inner calling to heal many Lightworkers find themselves in situations which create an entangled endless cycle of sorrow when it comes to relationships.
In Chapter 16 author Sahvanna Arienta helps us to rediscover our authentic selves.
Once we heal our wounds and separate ourselves from our fears, what are we left with? This is a scary question for some of us. Under all the layers of pain and toxic energy is a pure being, the authentic you who kind of got lost long ago. You sacrificed your authentic self in relationships to please others and eventually lost touch with your greatest ally. What really is the authentic self, though, and how do you really know how to identify it? The authentic self clearly emerges when you come to a place of peace and ease with yourself and others around you. There really is no mistaking it once you have it. When you get down to your authentic core you no longer feel that you are responsible for other peoples’ happiness, nor are they responsible for yours.
You will find the self that you forgot existed, the you that you must now rediscover and celebrate. This is a glorious time for many Lightworkers. They have finally realized who they are apart from the human experience and now recognize themselves as spiritual beings who have a divine purpose. Our own authenticity is as individual as a fingerprint. None of us are exactly alike, and we aren’t measured according to any yardstick imposed by others or their purposes. Finally discovering who we are under all the pain is the greatest gift of all in this entire process of love and creating human bonds. Until we truly know and love ourselves unconditionally, we cannot love another without expectations or fear.
Change Is Good
Once you clear yourself of all your toxic energy you will discover a fundamental change in the way you view life and your relationships. You will discover that relationships are beautiful again, and you will value yourself enough to practice love equitably, even if that means walking away when you are giving too much and not receiving love in return. When you practice authenticity in your life, you will
- no longer feel the need change to please others;
- not have a problem saying no with kindness;
- live your life on your terms, not those dictated by others or by society;
- have a clearly defined sense of who you are;
- live the purpose-driven life of your choice;
- believe in yourself like never before;
- take responsibility for your own happiness;
- not enable others with the hidden agenda to validate yourself;
- be bold enough to follow your dreams without reservation;
- will accept life’s challenges as a loving and generous opportunity from the universe to grow exponentially.
All these changes are a result of living in authenticity. But that’s not all: there are more exciting and wonderful things in store for you, as well!
The Authentic Path to Love
Moving forward, once you are on the healing path, your heart chakra will open up and be able to maintain your light energy. Because of this you will experience a huge shift in relationships. You will no longer take on a victim or enabler role, but the role of a supportive and loving partner in the journey through life. Expectations will also be removed, and you will allow relationships to grow organically into something beautiful. Conversely, if your partner is not in alignment with you, you will have the courage to walk away freely and without resentment. You will seek out an equal partner who is living authentically, as well. Together you will create a bond that will be more powerful than any other you have experienced because it originated from a place of wholeness and authenticity.
Travel baggage free
Free from all the baggage from the past you will love and connect in a new light. Now you will be able to engage others from a place of empowerment and love, instead of fear and pain. Finding that authentic place where ego is cast aside and spirit steps in is like chains being removed your entire life and being illuminated with ultimate truth. This illumination will allow you to finally find balance in love. The spirit knows no fear and understands that we are all one; there is no such thing as pain or separation where love exists. Fear-based relationships or counterproductive energies are all but eliminated. Jealousy, possessiveness, insecurity, and trust issues are all based on fear of loss. Of course no one wants to lose their romantic partner; these human emotions are real and natural. But to live your life carrying the constant weight of the fear what could happen is not living true to yourself.
Some people get into relationships just to say they are in one. Not surprising, considering how important it is in this culture to be in a relationship. Just look at social media. A friend will proudly change his “status” to “in a relationship,” and everyone offers their congratulations and well wishes. A change in relationship status is a nice time to offer well wishes, but why not offer well wishes to your friend just for being him. We celebrate coupling as though it is the be all, end all, as though the people involved just won a one-way ticket on the happiness train. In most cases it doesn’t always turn out that way, especially when someone judges his or her value depending on his or her relationship status. This need for adoration or applause on a public forum screams of insecurity and fear. Perhaps this sounds a bit harsh, but let me ask this: Does this type of declaration really enhance the person at the core level, or is it just boosting the ego? This is when we need to reexamine what truly defines us and what is just egocentric, fear-based, extraneous stuff.
Your authentic self will have a keen sense of when you are falling into a fearful or insecure place in your relationships, when you are functioning on a lower vibratory level which is nothing but ego driven. But when you are fearless and love beyond the limitation of human attachments, you will discover you have absolutely nothing to fear, because true love energy is infinite. Also you will no longer be held hostage by your human fear-driven self in relationships. Your ability to love will expand, and you will love without limitations or attachment to outcomes. Trying to force or leverage outcomes that we think will validate us will lead to disaster—for example, fearing that if we don’t marry by a certain age we will be looked upon negatively. This type of fear often leads us to choose the wrong partner just because we want to force what we think is expected of us.
Another benefit is that Lightworkers who tend to fall into total selflessness when it comes to loving others will become more self-aware. Being completely selfless is crossing a clear line between healing with love and taking on the responsibility for someone else’s wounds. Lightworkers cannot heal those who do not want to face their pain. Just as you had to come to the place of being willing to let go of your pain, others need to be ready, as well. Our stubborn nature to heal sometimes becomes a liability when it comes to our own personal relationships.
As I already mentioned, Lightworkers are here to give of their healing light, but they must also carefully honor their own needs, as well. Here are some questions to ask yourself if you think your healing nature may be interfering in your authentic path and your love life. If you agree with more than half of these questions, it is time to readjust your approach to love.
- I usually choose partners who have addictive personalities.
- I make excuses for my partner’s shortcomings.
- I am often told that I am controlling.
- My partner feels I am smothering at times.
- I cover (or lie) to keep my partner from experiencing humiliation or consequences.
- I think my partner’s friends are a bad influence.
- I often give my partner sound advice that he/she never follows.
- I often excuse my partner for bad behavior because I feel he/she is afraid to love.
- I will wait for my partner to “fix” his/her life and help him/her to recover.
- I excuse my partner for not committing to me it because he/she has been hurt in previous relationships.
If you are allowing any of these situations to linger for a sustained period of time, you are attempting to heal someone rather than be engage in an equal and balanced relationship. This is the primary tension and dichotomy for all Lightworkers. Discovering this will also awaken you to your authentic self as a human being who needs to give and receive love with balance.
When we are finally in touch with our authenticity, the divine balance of healer and human will take its rightful place in your life, and you will now realize when you are being depleted and not receiving authentic love energy in return. You will discover that the universe is always in perfect balance. For every situation that seems unfair or unwarranted, the universe creates an equal and opposite situation to balance it out. For example, if there is war, the universe has a solution for peace; if there is famine, there is a way to provide food to the hungry; if there is a disease, rest assured the universe has already provided a cure—we just need to discover it. Just as happens in your experiences in love and human interactions, if you have the awareness and temerity to search for solutions, you will find the best ones, the ones that bring everything back into perfect balance again. Balance is a Lightworker’s greatest friend!
Who Are You, Anyway?
Your authentic self is the spirit found at your absolute core, under all the “stuff” we have discussed. It is the part of you not defined by your human identity, and goes way deeper than that. It is all that your spirit embodies and feels compelled to embrace. True authenticity is not dictated by social or cultural ideals, mores, or standards. You will discover you are not your pain, you are not what people told you that you are, you are not what society tells you to be: you are a spiritual being with a divine purpose, and you have the power to heal yourself and the planet. As you release the constraints of the human identity and all the pain and toxicity that goes with it, you will find that long ago, you forgot who you were. When this awakening comes for you, you will free yourself from cultural or societal identities—mother, husband, friend, gay, straight, victim, loser, whatever—and discover a uniquely divine being created by God put here to assist humanity. This is the purpose of the person who works in the light.
The footpath to self-discovery is not an easy passage. Getting to that place of authenticity is an awakening and takes some time to adjust to. How do you recognize yourself after all this time? Many clients come to me with the question, what is my life purpose? What am I supposed to be doing, and why was I put here on the planet at this time? All these questions reveal a search for their authentic self. My answer is always simple: follow what resonates with you. Once you awaken, your life will change, and your priorities will be restructured. Eventually you will hear a subtle calling, and this will be your life purpose, your authentic self. Additionally, your intuition will be restored and heightened; once again and you will feel the confidence to follow this inner voice. This simple abilities to listen and feel will undoubtedly guide you to your ultimate life purpose and who you are at your core.
How empowering is it to release yourself from pain and become a warrior of the light? There is no nobler role to embrace as a human being.
Sahvanna Arienta is an internationally known Psychic Advisor and spiritual counselor. Though her work helps others recognize their authentic selves and find purpose in living a heart centered existence. Her unique style and connection to others is a powerful healing tool that has been a revolutionary force for change in the lives of her worldwide clientele. She is the author of Lightworker and The Lightworker’s Source. Her website is sahvannaarienta.com.