We are excited to share an excerpt from a new release that is just beginning to arrive in bookstores entitled The Call of the Soul : A Path to Knowing Your True Self and Your Life's Purpose by Aila Accad.
Aila presents a new perspective on the quest to find your authentic self focusing on renegotiating the relationship between the ego and the soul, so you can step fully into your purpose.
Here we share a portion of Chapter 5, entitled The Ego and the Soul: A Love Story.
Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches,
letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights.
—Pauline R. Kezer
An Inner Love Story
We grow partially. We are relative. We are
mature in one realm, childish in another. The
past, present, and future mingle and pull us
backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We
are made up of layers, cells, constellations.
The dance of your life is expressed through the intimate relationship between your ego and soul. My intention in this chapter is to help you feel more appreciation and love for your entire journey in this life, even the parts through which you struggle. I’ve come to understand the ever-changing relationship between the ego and the soul as a beautiful inner love story. Like any love story, this one has trials, tribulations, and triumphs!
This love story begins with the ego’s devotion to the soul’s protection. The ego loves the soul and the body that houses it. It starts out in the relationship with a mission to protect both from physical, emotional, and psychological pain. The ego learns from life experiences through the physical senses.
In the beginning, the soul and ego work together to build a structure of protection for the young, naïve soul. The baby is a curious, sponge-like being, who learns about the world he or she is born into by downloading experiences through all the senses. What the baby sees, hears, tastes, smells, and feels become part of a vast memory database that forms the foundation of the original ego structure. This is the structure of your beliefs about yourself and your life.
As the soul rubs up against the physical world in infancy and childhood, the young mind evolves a complex of beliefs, which become the foundation for the story we tell about ourselves and life. This original story is formed from the perceptions of a child before the age of reason and meaningful language. Even so, we don’t update or change this view until something significant happens that prompts us to change it.
Adolescence, midlife, and life-changing experiences that call into question our identity, such as illness, accidents, divorce, and loss of job, are the kinds of significant changes that spark the deeper questions Who am I? and What is my life about? It’s during these times that a window of opportunity opens to update and change the original perspective and structure by which we live our lives.
The ego begins to take the lead early in the relationship. It continues to structure the dance patterns until the maturing soul feels the need to express itself more and take full charge of directing your life’s purpose. As the soul matures, the classic dance of conformity cannot provide enough space and freedom for the soul’s unique authentic expression.
These are moments when the soul is ready to create its own dance. Unfortunately, as the soul attempts to step out of the old pattern, its toes get stepped on by an ego that is still trying to maintain the original pattern of protection they formed in childhood. The soul pushes against the walls of the ego structure, which feel too small and confining.
The ego is afraid. It remembers, in vivid detail, all the experiences of pain, frustration, devastation, abandonment, and rejection that the soul felt in the early days as it naively moved out into the world in open innocence. In its effort to protect the soul from the certain consequences that it knows will come from moving authentically again, the ego becomes even more determined to stop the soul.
We feel this ego-soul struggle for leadership as a terrible inner conflict or battle. I called it my “Armageddon” of the soul. The soul wants more freedom, and the ego is determined to keep it safe.
This inner conflict causes stress on a deep, unconscious level. Depending on the unique defense mechanisms the ego developed for protection, our symptoms of stress can include:
* Flight: loss of energy and motivation, distraction, procrastination, stress, depression, hopelessness, helplessness, despair.
* Fight: anxiety, bullying, complaining, blaming, anger, rage, panic attacks.
* Freeze: chronic illness, chronic pain, autoimmune conditions.
We may use any number of methods to deal with the pain of these symptoms, including:
* Distraction: television, video games, work, gambling, co-dependence.
* Escape: changing residence, relationships, appearance.
* Control: obsessive behaviors, possessiveness.
* Numbing: alcohol, drugs (including medication), food, sex.
Resolution of the conflict requires the ego to realize that the soul is no longer as naïve, young, or inexperienced as it was in the beginning and that the continued survival of the body and soul no longer requires vigilant protection. What the mature soul now needs from the ego is renovation of the original structure to support growth and change toward unfolding its fullest expression. With a supportive attitude and the right tools, the ego is capable and willing to do this. I know, because I have experienced this inner transformation.
This is not the typical view of the ego. The ego is more often seen as the villain in this relationship and especially in this conflict. We are encouraged in most spiritual practices to take sides in the battle. Of course, we want to be on the side of the soul, our true self, and our soul’s purpose.
That’s why most of the advice we get is to suppress, override, or try to extinguish the ego. I think this is precisely what keeps us stuck. Fortunately, I learned another way that I am delighted to be able to share with you.
Hating or rejecting the ego is self-destructive, because the ego is not separate from you. It is an integral part of the ego-soul relationship. These partners cannot divorce, and the ego cannot move out of the house. The only hope for inner peace is to support the partners to reconstruct and rebalance the relationship in a new way. The ego must be understood and approached with an attitude of appreciation and compassion for the important and loving role it plays in the relationship.
Aila Accad, RN,
is an award-winning international speaker, best-selling author, and certified
life coach who began her quest for the purpose of life at age nine. She became
an energy healer, reiki master, and stress expert in the process of exploring
numerous wisdom paths. As president and founder of LifeQuest International,
LLC, she shares uniquely simple experiences to help clients hear and heed their
soul’s calling. Find out more by following the Facebook page for this book.